The final fight

This poem was so sad :(
great write though lots of emotion put
behind it

I really liked this poem alot. To me, it was sad, yet true. So many women have this happen to them. Also, the fact of the loss of a child is very terrible.
Anyways, my comment isn't really long becaus I honestly am so speachless because it was so great! It's sad, but very very good.

"I feel so angry at myself,
Because I never knew.
I should have learned by then,
Not to stand up to you.
I thought I was protecting her,
I thought that I was strong.
I thought I could have stopped you,
How could I be so wrong? "
^By just reading the first stanza, I thought you were going to talk about protecting a friend or family member... like a little sister. You can tell the pain in your words already and I just know I'm going to cry while reading this poem.

"That night you got so angry,
You had never been so mad.
But I fought back that night,
For the baby that I had.
You told me I was lying,
You said she wasn't real.
Never did I imagine,
The pain I would soon feel."
^Oh God, I'm already crying. A miscarriage because he beat you. This makes me so angry and upset for you... I couldn't even imagine the kind of pain you endured both physically and emotionally.

"Every punch into my stomach,
Every kick into my side.
Then you threw me on your bed,
And I knew I couldn't hide.
Your face was full of anger,
While mine was full of fear.
I tried to scream so loud,
But no one seemed to hear."

^Great imagery here. I hate to say it but I can see it all happening and I just wish I could go behind him and hit him in the heat with something heavy. I can feel how scared you were and it's pitiful that sometimes neighbors can actually hear you but yet they "mind their own business" ... will never understand that. If my neighbor was ever screaming like that, I would first call the police and then go over with a gun.

"I froze until I couldn't move,
I couldn't make a sound.
You started taking off your clothes,
And throwing them around.
Then suddenly I screamed,
Something wasn't right.
Shooting pains inside my stomach,
Made me start to fight."
^I will NEVER understand how someone could get their kicks by beating the crap out of someone they "love". Never. Just repulsive.

"The pain was so unbearable,
I thought I would be sick.
I managed to get you off me,
And started running quick.
But that was when I realized,
I saw all of the blood.
In panic I had tripped up,
And landed with a thud."
^Oh, honey. That... oh... I'm speechless. My heart is breaking for you.

"I started feeling dizzy,
As blood seeped through my jeans.
Why did I come around here?
Why did no one hear my screams?
You had dragged me to the kitchen,
I couldn't even walk.
You held a knife to my throat,
And told me not to talk."
^He is a sick MFer and I truly hope you are not with this man anymore. The fear you must have felt... oh God. I'm cringing at the thought.

"Staring at the back door,
Your mum had just walked in.
I saw my chance and ran,
But your knife had cut my skin.
I heard your mother screaming,
She was calling out my name.
I just kept on running,
I was scared to get the blame."
^Thank God his mother walked in! She might have saved your life! That was a blessing from God.

"I got around the corner,
Collapsing on the ground.
I thought that I was dying,
I just wanted to be found.
I didn't understand what happened,
But I knew my baby was gone.
I had got her killed,
Because I thought I could be strong."
^Oh, dear... please don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault you fell in love with some bastard - love is blind. Every single ounce of it is HIS fault. He beat you. I know you see it as your fault and I know it's something you will probably always have to try and cope with throughout your life. You fought for your life... and for that sweet baby girl in heaven....and I know she is eternally grateful for you taking a stand for her.

"Nothing seemed to matter,
I knew it was too late.
I felt so angry at him,
But it was me I began to hate.
I let the anger control me,
Only seeing shades of black.
I just wanted to hurt you,
To bring my baby back."
^ :( I'm at a loss of words.

"I loved her so much,
But you took her away.
Maybe it was fate,
She just wasn't meant to stay.
But never again will I say no,
Never again will I stop you.
I wish I never told you,
If only people knew."
^She knows you loved her, that's all that matters. You wouldn't have tried to protect her if you didn't. Like you said, maybe it was fate... maybe God didn't want this sicko to give life to a child. I'm so sorry you had to be hurt in the process. However, you don't need to keep enduring this pain... if you are still with this man, LEAVE. That is no life for you, hun. You will always be abused and depressed if you stay. You hold the world in your hands... you just have to take a step towards happiness.

"But all these secrets I will keep,
Just like all the ones before.
I get so tired of trying,
And I can't fight anymore.

Im breaking down,
Im letting go.
And no one else,
Will ever know."
^Oh dear... don't ever give up. Life is a struggle.. some worse for others. I have only seen a glimpse inside your life, however it is too much for me to bare. My heart is completely shattered after reading this. </3

I'm glad you wrote this... writing is one of the best releases there is. I hope sometime down the road you will be able to find peace and happiness. I will pray for you, dear.

Okay, now for a title... Hmmm. Maybe "Fighting for Your Life" ;; "Mommy's Fight" ; "A Battle for You" ... there's a few... not sure if you like them. Hope I helped.

Typos: there isn't really any typos, but I would add punctuation to your words that have contractions. For example, 'wasnt' in the second stanza, sixth line is 'wasn't.' I know it is a small thing, but it bugs me because that is the way I was taught. You have 'couldnt' in the third, fourth, and sixth stanzas. You also have 'didnt' in the eight stanza. In the last stanza, 'Im' is also a contraction as well. You have them the correct way in some stanzas, but not in others - I imagine that you just didn't hit the comma button because you were typing so fast. It has happened to me too...stupid keyboards.

Wow. I thought this poem was going to be about something totally different when I read the first stanza - it shocked me when I learned that it was about a miscarriage.

'I feels so angry at myself
Because I never knew
I should have learned by then
Not to stand up to you
I thought I was protecting her
I thought that I was strong
I thought I could have stopped you
How could I be so wrong?'

^ First, on the first line, 'feels' is supposed to be 'feel.' I thought the 'her' was a friend or someone close that the person was defending. It is a very good beginning, because no one really knows what to expect, and if they do then they will be completely wrong, because I was :) I have a feeling that you are writing from someone's perspective, or from someone's point of view, or you are just making this up, but at the same trying to discover what it would be like...

'I froze until I couldnt move
I couldnt make a sound
You started taking of your clothes
and throwing them around
Then suddenly I screamed
Something wasnt right
Shooting pains inside my stomach
Made me start to fight'

^ Second line, 'of' is supposed to be 'off.' When I read this stanza, I get really, really angry. This fueled my anger towards the 'man' in the poem. Taking off his clothes after just beating her? I know that this is true for some girls, which is sad, and sickening.

In the next stanza (fifth one), 'unbarable' is supposed to be 'unbearable.'

In the sixth one, third line, 'round' is supposed to be 'around.'

I am not going to go through this stanza-by-stanza, because I would probably take up your whole screen, but this is a story. I feel sick now that I have read this about five times...I just don't know what to say. The contents were so amazingly heartbreaking and extremely terrifying - you went into very good detail here. So good that I think that this might have happened to you, but I seriously hope that I am wrong.

Not that it matters, but the flow was really good here. I read through this effortlessly. Just fix those contractions, and those spelling errors, and it would be perfect.

For the title, I would use something like, 'Why did I fight you?' because it is the main theme of this poem.

Excellent
5/5