Redemtion Poem (Double Haikus)

This is a awesome double Haiku. I love how you said the sun recounts the day and the moon recalls it.

Excellent!

This is really clever. I like the way you stuck to just 2 seperate rhymes and made it work so well - I do not think I have ever read a Haiku which rhymed.

I did enjoy this however I have to ask, do you really need the numbers at the start? The only reason I say this is because they distracted me from readong on as I kept going tot he number first. If you want to keep them, perhaps you could try them at the end ? Or explain the syllable count at the bottom of the poem?

Still a great job though, well done.

Oh, double haiku
With rhymes on it
This was interesting.

It created a story. How the sun watches and the moon recalls the dreams. I liked it.