Morning Star

by Poet on the Piano   Jul 13, 2012


Departure took away the little dreams
I had budding for us. There were barely
any markings left on the tips of a tongue
well adversed
about missing blue skies, daisy porches,
and transforming clouds.

I used my lips to kiss the moon,
hoping someday it would come back,
calling, for no one other than me.

Yet I still feel the stain around
the tops of my lips, like the rim
of berries I've sought out to pick,
but just couldn't enclose
my heart around.

No one returns for echoes
that have lost their voice,
their primrose color.

And how I could have held you,
cradled you as if you had lost
all greens, all petals that clung
to your skin like sweaty ten o'clock
bars.

But here you are, gone,
and there are no metaphors
for the feeling I have.

For you've been inside my mind, and
I can no longer return to peacefulness
after I've been your morning star.

Pleading for God, at every hour,
at every chance when the sun
is beating at my brow.
Asking if there is a way
to be led to healing, or if
it's better to be wiped clean of
recollection...

to be un-sheltered again.

Because I don't think you can dance
on sunshine, once you've been told
it's already forgotten you...

Written 7/12/12 at 10:05 pm.
* Wrote this in a perspective of a young woman being left by her first love, and not being able to catch him again, call him back. Critique is welcomed, thanks!

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    This was amazing the images the emotion all perfect and the last stranza just finished it perfectly I really did love how you finished this masterpiece

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    I read this a week ago and when I wanted to comment on it now, it was really hard to search for it, haha. You write so much everyday!
    Anyway, I loved the scene of a girl stretching her hands for the moon and then when the morning is up, she wishes it calls for her. Sounds like something I'd done, haha. I love the fact that this is raw. I guess it needs some corrections but in all, this was really lovely. And no need to feel unsure about it. :)

    'There were barely
    any markings left on the tips of a tongue
    well adversed
    about missing blue skies, daisy porches'

    I think this is the best picture I have read in avery, very long while. Like in a month or so. Totally imaginative, creative and so you. I love the simplicity of it and the depth it still holds. Melancholic.
    Whatsoever, I guess the first line about departure taking away the dreams isn't really necessary. I feel it's just repeated again in the 'missing blue skies and daisy porches' image and you need the stronger version of the thought. And the one I pointed out is definitely the strongest here. So, I would drop it.

    'like the rim
    of berries I've sought out to pick,
    but just couldn't enclose
    my heart around.'

    Have I ever told you that you're the best at such imagery? It's gorgeous. You kinda changed your tone here; you were talking f missed dreams and you just quickly switched to berries and lips, even though you're still describing the same thing and I find that clever.
    'Yet I still feel the stain around' I would of said 'its stains'? I guess it's connected more to the moon in that way. etter than just a whole different image.

    'Because I don't think you can dance
    on sunshine, once you've been told
    it's already forgotten you...'

    I feel this is deeper than what I'm getting. I feel it has you somewhere. And I loved that. The rest just sounded to me ...unpoetic. Like they were too raw for my liking and too repeated, so I guess you might need to edit them a little bit more.

    Loved this write, MarryAnne. I love all your writes anyway.
    : )
    Nice to read you again!

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