Hun,

I do love the intensity of this poem. The thing most about it that I found I could relate to was the part about crying onto my pillow. It makes me think of the endless nights I would be crying myself to sleep. I can truly feel the heartache in this piece!

I loved the flow of the poem too, I didn't know if that it was on purpose but I did notice that there were rhyming parts in the first stanza which I enjoyed.

Awesome write

x

That moment is very intense, and a feeling Ive felt many times..... beautiful piece!!

You described the intense heartache that makes us cry, it was good. In a way, it's funny, how most of our tears fall down to the pillow. I know that this might not have been the intention, but this poem makes me appreciate my pillow alot more.
I mean, "she/he" idk if it's a he or a she but the pillow is always there for us.

"That moment of intense pain
when you feel the heat
building inside your eyes
as they burn.
Right before they release
the tears which will form,
then flood from your eyes,
stream down your cheeks
and land,
creating puddles on your pillow. "
^Oh, I've have this feeling too many times. That point where you know they are coming, you can't stop them... and then you just drench yourself and whatever you are clenching, which I always do my pillow like you stated. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it.

"That moment of intense heartache
when your heart stops beating
as you hear it snap
in half.
Fragments tearing away,
never to rejoin.
To be lost inside your body forever,
broken for eternity. "
^Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world. It literally feels like your heart is shattered into tiny pieces and you never can find every little fragment when you are trying to piece it together...always a few missing.

"Oh, how much it hurts. "
^I love how you added this line, it adds intensity and power to the piece.

Great poem with emotion that can bring back memories of past heartbreaks for me. It flowed nicely and was well written.

'That moment of intense pain
when you feel the heat
building inside your eyes
as they burn.
Right before they release
the tears which will form,
then flood from your eyes,
stream down your cheeks
and land,
creating puddles on your pillow.'

^ My favorite stanza right here. I love this one, because you have made the act of crying seem beautiful to me. The burning of the tears behind your eyes as the water arises, and then the small trickle down your cheeks...very beautiful to me. Wonderful beginning.

'That moment of intense heartache
when your heart stops beating
as you hear it snap
in half.
Fragments tearing away,
never to rejoin.
To be lost inside your body forever,
broken for eternity.'

^ This is the one thing that almost everyone who has been in love can relate to. The 'snapping' of the heart and the way that there seems to be holes. However, I don't think that it would be broken for eternity - sure there are going to be an emptiness, but the thing about the heart that I find interesting is that it has the ability to mend over and over again. Once you find another special someone, your heart will feel revived. It doesn't seem possible at first, but it does happen.

'Oh, how much it hurts.'

^ A line that simply says it all. The agony of having your heart broken is so intense sometimes that it is hard to move on, isn't it? You can hardly bear the pain, but you know that eventually there is no choice...you just want to submerge yourself in your sorrows and forget about the world.

This is a very beautiful poem. I like how you described the heartache - I am sure that there is more to it, but these two stanzas are beautiful. Extremely beautiful. You made something that is so painful into something beautiful.

Excellent/heartbreaking/beautiful
5/5