Completion

by Jenni   Jul 17, 2012


At the end you will be asked
whether it was worth it,
then it will be enough if you smile,

but don't force it and please
don't repine because of me
mentioning an end -
whatever that is.

I live with the daylight too;

even though I prefer to return
during the night while the moon
shines upon sleeping arms,
that search for me.

Words rest next to you
as if they keep you company
though I never dared to say them.

When I try to sleep
I whisper your name,
like a confession

and I smile.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Sora

    You must really like this person to create such a beautiful piece. it was very interesting and inspirational to me. i enjoy reading poems like these because i can or have felt how you feel. and i like your work because it keeps me on my toes, guessing what is next or how it will end. keep writing, you have a wonderful talent.

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    Jenni, I don't know why I find it quite hard to comment on your poems. But I do love every piece you write.

    I like the title; short and simple. It makes the reader all the more curious to know what this would be about. Completion, as already stated, connotes a lot of things. Perhaps you were incomplete but you've finally found that missing part.

    "At the end you will be asked
    whether it was worth it,
    then it will be enough if you smile,
    but don't force it and please
    don't repine because of me
    mentioning an end -
    whatever that is."

    I think I already told you; the language you use is refreshing, it's different and it sets your pieces apart from other's. It's interesting because I have to re-read this to try to fully grasp what you are saying.
    I like the tone you use here, there's a mixture of uncertainty yet superiority from the persona. You don't spoonfeed the reader, but rather, you make them think, which is nice.
    This makes us want to continue on reading because it is thought-provoking and it raises curiosity.

    "I live with the daylight too;
    even though I prefer to return
    during the night while the moon
    shines upon sleeping arms,
    that search for me."

    Lovely imagery here. This might be my favorite part, it's hard to choose - I love this whole piece. Each stanza seems to tell a different story, but how you tied them in all together was just brilliant.
    I can relate to this - belonging somewhere (the daylight) but 'preferring' to be somewhere else (the night). Perhaps because you feel more 'complete' there..?

    "When I try to sleep
    I whisper your name,
    like a confession
    and I smile."

    The ending is remarkable. 'Trying to sleep' denotes that the persona is having a hard time sleeping - again, I can relate to that - and perhaps the only way she could fall asleep is when she 'whispers "his?" name'. Smiling usually suggests satisfaction. And perhaps the persona feels complete after doing that. Maybe it is a routine..

    Having interpreted this (or tried lol), it makes it all the more easy to appreciate and love this piece. I'm sure my interpretation is not a hundred percent accurate, but I'm happy with what I got from this piece. I feel complete ;)

    Awesome write as always, Jenni. Keep writing!

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    See so /excited i double commented :-/

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Nothing less than amazing as usual, i love it when i see that little number next to your name change as i know something special is coming our way and i am never wrong ono this
    ;-)

    Fantastic xx

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Just beautiful, Jenni... as always. You have such a way with words, I love reading your work. :)

    The desire you have for this person is so sweet. I hope they soon realize it and they make you smile even bigger.

    The ending was perfect, whispering their name like a confession<3.

    Beautiful!!!

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