Amaurosis.

by ghosts in bloom   Jul 18, 2012


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reflective sclera expose stories
of past nights and pressed lips;
enamel laden lullabies
damp with dulcet notes,
which curl like cold fingers
'round alabaster wrists

words form clovers on collarbones
as they slip from their saddles,
barely said and then swallowed
down winded bridges of dust,
lost in a sweltering artifice;
vacuous and vast

Truth belies such brazen love
hovering grey as the garish clouds
above her head so sweetly illume,
eyes masked in shades of midnight,
salt meanders a maze of freckles
while she blames the southern rain

(c) Novalyn Grace RR
July 18th, 2012

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I'm not sure if the intended meaning will be clear to many; this piece has a very specific heart. If you have any questions feel free to PM me, otherwise I look forward to hearing your interpretations. :)

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This piece is filled with heartbreaking sadness.. what is unique about it and that makes it stand out and shine, is the word usage... truly and elegant piece.
    I love the vocabulary usage... I felt like I was sitting in a candle lit room, feeling the sorrow, but hearing a symphony of sounds...

    "salt meanders a maze of freckles
    while she blames the southern rain"

    ^^^ I adore these lines.....

    Powerful, creative and brilliant piece of art-
    Well Done Novalyn Grace RR

  • 12 years ago

    by Colm

    Very interesting and multi-faceted write (as always) which I don't think I fully grasp. But in a good way: in a way that makes me think about the words, delve into possible explainations and get into the mind of the characters. the first stanza displayed some excellent imagery. Her eyes hint of a past that would rather stay hidden to an extent. I like the consistent use of cold, stone-like images that hint possibly at an old love, which never blossomed because one of them couldn't open up and remained more like an alabester statue. 'Cold fingers round alabester wrists,' is one of my favourite images: it tells a lot. Even the use of the word reflective at the beginning to some degree, intentionally or unintentionally, brings the reader into it, makes them question themselves or place themselves in the poem, as if they see themselves reflected in her eyes.

    The second stanza is where it gets a little more confusing for me, haha. I don't have much clue what clover on collarbones indicates, but images such as 'slip from their saddles' indicate that something isn't quite right, something doesn't quite fit. 'Barely said and then swallowed,' confirms the cold relationship hinted at in the first stanza, as if to communicate is a mistake that needs to be covered up. 'Dust' 'lost' and 'vast' taken on their own tell of emptiness and stagnation.

    The last stanza seems to get a little more personal into her own present feelings. 'truth belies love' seemingly shows that she can't deny the truth that the love will not work. I think she knows the truth in her heart, but tries to ignore it (eyes masked), and the lingering image of clouds is a good one. There is a suspicion that she is also somewhat ashamed, and may rather blame the failure of the relationship on other factors to deflect attention away from facing up to herself, in the same way that she failed to connect emotionally in the past. That is my interpration, although as I read it different possibilities and meanings crop up in the most innocent looking word or phrase. All in all a very good, engaging read, one which I would be inclined to revisit and enjoy again.

  • 12 years ago

    by Karla

    I think this heart you are talking about was delluded either because it is blind or because of amaurosis. Great piece.

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    OMG!

    this is one amazing write one that deserves a front page spot so im nominating it!!!

    ive read this about five times already and it's just....sigh.....im not a great one for commenting because i tend to get things mixed ( im fairly new to writing) but i have to say it's going straight into my favourites :-) EPIC WRITE!!

    x