Women like us

'Yaki,

I think you have a gem here. I could sense so much sadness along with your usual confidence and strong attitude which is a very successful combination in poetry for my part. It was raw, sincere and subjective. I love how you titled/began it with 'women like us', and keep repeating it all throughout the piece. It intrigued me, made me curious to read. You didn't just write off an ordinary title like...poetesses or so.

I love the way I felt as though you were talking about mothers and their unconditional love, then you surprised me in the middle. I was deeply saddened, however, by the suffocating bit, it was like we aren't used to such kind of pure love and we have so much of it until we can't take it anymore and we choke with it.

'we are in constant need of a broken
heart, or else our art will starve'

So true. So loved it.
I have to be honest and say that I was distracted by some unneeded lines. But it was worth it in the end because the message is just too true to be true. =P
The trampoline image is perfectly well-done! When kids are jumping on a trampoline, they feel joy and so is when someone has so many people to love. But then those kids jump, fall then stand up and move on, we just give up and feel hopeless instead.

'but the truth is,
we're selfish women.
so selfish its almost selfless..

..almost.'

This ending made perfect sense to me.
Wow.
But I really only have a problem with punctuation. Other than that, I'm left wordless here.

Beautful work!'

- Sub judging.

Nominated if I have votes left

I love your poem Yaki, somehow you penned a little piece of all of us into this poem when you wrote it! I am always excited to see a new poem from you :)

:O Enough said, opened mouth, in awe, WOW