i dont know why i do this...
but its one of the only things,
that right now makes sense to me.
i know its bad,
i know i should stop.
its funny,
i want to stop and i want to continue,
both at the same time.
it gives me relief for a bit,
makes me forget my confusion,
because there is nothing wrong right now,
but i am depressed, no matter the unknown reason.
it helps,
but after i feel bad,
and i do it again,
because of the thought of how it felt good.
i dont know whats wrong with me,
i dont know why im like this,
i dont know what im supposed to do.
i know i should stop...but i dont want to.
right now, it makes sense to do it
its the only thing that makes sense...
i dont want to let it go.
when i feel under pressure,
it takes the pressure off,
stops me from hurting for a bit,
and i dont even feel the pain anymore...
