Comments : Goodbye

  • 12 years ago

    by X Harlea X

    Very very good! :) (( 5 ))

  • 12 years ago

    by Owner of an Untamed Heart

    "Upon me in our final hour,
    where love once so sweet turned so sour." --loved it, 5/5 definitely

  • 12 years ago

    by Fanny

    Your emotions truly showed in this poem and I could easily feel your pain through the poem. Good job well written!

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Saying goodbye to loved ones is one of the most hardest thing I have ever faced. I lost my mother and grandpa in the same year and they were the two closed people I had. It's rough but you just have to remember they will still always be in your heart and no one can take away your memories with them.

    You wrote a beautiful poem and I loved the last line. Great job, keep writing! :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Hello, Omar. I know you asked me to do this a while back, and I am sorry that I have taken so long...

    Typos: First stanza, the saying usually is 'I can't believe my eyes' because you cannot believe you are seeing something, or you don't want to believe that you are seeing it. Put a question mark at the end of the third stanza. Take out 'you' in the first line of the fourth stanza, and I would also consider rewording that second line because I can't exactly understand what you are trying to say...it is oddly worded. In the fifth stanza, 'whole' is supposed to be 'hold.' I just wanted you to know that these are the mistakes that I found in this poem, but it is your choice to correct them :] I am just trying to help.

    This is a very sad poem, Omar. We all know what it is like to lose someone, so it is very relatable to all of us. It is a very devastating thing to experience. I wonder what family member this was...but I will not pry because it is not my business.

  • 12 years ago

    by Krysten

    I really liked this one, very touching and sad. Its definitly written from the heart...5/5

    Wondering tho in the first line i believe the "can" should be changed to " can't"

  • 12 years ago

    by stormingdance (Lessa)

    I loved the last two lines as well. I too lost 3 loved ones- within 1 year. My uncle, grandfather, and cousin. My uncle and grandfather passed only a few days from each other.

    Ty for sharing

  • 12 years ago

    by Brittany Klein

    Wow! I really like this. I can relate to losing close people to me. My Dad died and then my grandma, the two closest people to me.

    Great job! ^_^

    Always,
    ~Britt-Bratt~

  • 12 years ago

    by Renssey Heart Vine

    Upon me in our final hour,
    where love once so sweet turned so sour.

    --Excellent... this was a great poem...
    5/5

  • A sad, sad piece that everyone can relate to - which just makes the whole thing even more sad.

    It is apparent from your words that you were close to this person, whoever it may be, and to lose someone you are close to hurts even more, in my opinion.

    Personally, I have lost so many people within my life, both those who I was really close to and others I was still learning to understand or even had drifted apart from.

    It is never easy to say goodbye to someone, but especially to those who are deceased. To me it feels as though that by saying goodbye, I'm giving up on them and the memories we shared. When in reality it is simply to give ourselves closure.

    A very sad write, Omar.
    Hopefully you can come to terms to with this loss soon; it isn't nice to dwell.

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by WintersAngel

    Sad, relatable, and everything that belongs in a poem like this. Wonderfully written and excellent flow.

  • 11 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    Ohhhhh my goodness this is so sweet, I adore it, so sad and touching, two thumbs up!

  • 11 years ago

    by shannon

    BEAUTIFUL

  • 11 years ago

    by cassie

    I reallly like it. I can relate to this a lot

  • 11 years ago

    by cassie

    I reallly like it. I can relate to this a lot

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    A very vivid sad piece that emotions seeped through and that many of us can relate to

    Em