Bygones (syntuit variant)

I really wish (and hope) that you will take this poem and make it longer? I know you say it's a senryu variant so you're not restricting yourself to the normal syllable count and that's why I'm wondering why you didn't elaborate more?

At the moment..I'm looking at the first line and pondering...

Thunder cries in the night

^^^'
I've never hear of thunder crying...normally it would roar or something like that so...is the emphasise on the cry...are you crying so loud it reminds you of thunder?

I'd really like to see lightning incorporated somehow...illuminating ultimatums..a little bit of word play perhaps? Also...you laid down could be incorporated into your emotions as you lay down...the thunder/lightning/ultimatums...all disrupting your sleep?

OMG!! That hit me like thunder!

Went straight to my heart. Although few words but the impact of sadness they hold is a lot. I went ahead and imagined the whole scene in my head, and it hurts it really does. Its a combination of sad an dark at the same time.

Heartfelt Godfather ..

xxx