To My Beloved Mother

A shoulder to cry on, you could show that you cared

When I needed a friend to rely on, you would sometimes be there

I remember the day that you cried silently

I watched you from a corridor, how you suffered from some memory

I remember the cigarettes, how you smoked all the time

They were always available, you never left them behind

You were often so distant, so removed, so distraught

And you were not very comforted by the man that you sought

I would have bought you carnations, brought comfort to alleviate your pain

To help you get past the morbid, to get past your own rain

But you would not allow me to soothe the hurt in your heart

I made every effort for us not to part

As I became older and you grew worse health-wise

I only saw weariness, I saw it in your dark eyes

I longed for you, mother, to hear me clearly

But it was to no avail that I tried so fervently

I know that I love you in my own way, I do

And I heard of your passing, of all that you went through

I heard that you were "unrecognizable," that you would not remember me

I felt numb at the prospect, it made me weary

I love to remember all that I learned from you

All the music, your writing, your laughter and humor too

I cannot put any flowers on a grave that does not exist

Because your ashes are not buried, they remain in a cold "crypt"

I have grown with the knowledge, with all that I have gained

From the wounds and colorful memories of you that still remain

I hope that you are resting, are at peace and are truly free

May your spirit always enliven, may you always inspire me