Damaged

It's just going to get worse,
If I don't figure it out,
If I linger in this place too long,
I'll be lost to the dark.

It's a safe place,
But not a happy one,
So familiar...
I can almost sink into it like a warm memory.

Loneliness wasn't so lonely,
When it was just you,
When you're together and lonely,
That's when it hurts most.

This is what closing yourself off feels like,
Surrounded by everything,
Unable to see anything,
Disconnection.

A fear to be weak,
Vulnerable,
A hatred for the chemical waste of emotions,
That make you both.

Feels so easy,
Just shut it off,
And it is,
When you're alone.

A tempestuous past,
Makes me long for serenity,
For openness, in a closed off world,
A haven from humanity.

A warm place where the world disappears,
Egos, vanity,
They melt upon the threshold,
And you're free to love and be loved.

Today I sit in this hole,
Watching it all drift away,
If it ever really existed,
Anywhere but my own mind.