I really loved this poem Yaki, your comparisons worked very well together...The only thing I would change is the part you said off board- I think a better word is over board, but that is minor and you did a wonderful job here.

more. more :)

I loved how you incorporated the Spanish part here...and the repetition really got to my heart. Really well-written, this really made my heart hurt and I want you to know you are not unloved- never will be :]

Amazing emotions here- I like the imagery, it's simple yet you don't need too much of it because it gives that striking effect.

5/5

"why her tears feel like
gunshots in my lungs,"

This was really interesting, a point I'd never heard of before. So many pieces of this poem to point out, the anguish and pain I felt here.. Oh you hit my emotions desperately. This was so touching.