Im on interstate ten in my new Mercedes Benz just cruising down the country side
up ahead a thumb in the air a stranded brother and hes needing a ride.
So I pull off the road say" son hop in loosen your load and I will get you where you are going in style"
thats when I took a good look , he had horns on his head and said" Howdy Im the devil with a smile".
He stank like old cheese had a beard to his knees, moved his tail and I heard the upholstery rip
thats when I remembered to not pick up hitchikers and knew this was going to be one hell of a trip.
I shivered with fear as he got real near and tried to give me a kiss
I said" hold on son when it comes to lovin fun im not into misters I prefer a miss"
I looked in his eyes filled with treachery and lies in my car was the ultimate sinner
he burped and it smelled like a fart with breath like he ate fertilizer for dinner.
He got a bit bolder slid a beer in the cup holder, kicked up his hooves on the dash
pulled out a sack put something in pipe and said" boy I got the killer stash".
A flame sprang from his thumb as I thought man this creeps dumb and he sucked on that pipe with a gasp I looked in those bloodshot eyes, he was high as the sky with a tongue that was forked like an asp.
I said" listen up son while you have your twisted fun and I will tell you the story of my life"
as I glanced at his face I thought what a disgrace sort of reminded me of my ex wife
Ive been run over by a drunk driver, stabbed with screwdrivers and shot in the head with a gun
Ive had cirrosis of the liver and at the colorado river got skin cancer from to much lying in the sun.
Ive been jailed by snitches poisoned by witches and layed in a pit of rattlesnakes
nearly blown up with a bomb by my old best ex friend tom and shook up by three large earthquakes
As you can tell by my tale im not a genuis but I am a man thats quite brave
every time I got high I cant deny I had one foot in the grave.
Once you took me for a ride now gods on my side as I shoved his punk a$$ out the car
he bounced on the cement all twisted and bent I thought man thats gonna leave some scars.
I look in my mirror as hes giving me the finger and yelling "you got the devil to pay"
I said"dont hold your breath Im so through with meth and I dont plan on going your way!"
So when I feel kind of tired with the need to get wired this is what I do today
I slip some Folgers in the cupholder or brew up a double latte'
-Santacruz-
