Until It Rains Again

by Joarz   Aug 3, 2012


Standing here on my Terrace
In the Drizzling Rain
Minute droplets shower upon my face
As I look up on the sky
I gaze upon in search of something
Something that I lost
Memories clouding me now
Filling my heart & soul
With queries of agony in my eyes
I still gaze upon
My inner child cries
Screaming in silence
Unheard by this world
Only nature responds
Responds with solemn cries
She feels the manifestation
So she fuses her cries with mine
At some point now I think
I gave out a tear unwillingly
So now that I am consumed again in sorrow
Let me refrain me from myself
Let me lock myself behind those rusty iron bars again
Till it pains again
Until it rains again. .

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Mams

    Awesome lines..
    'Shee feels the manifestation
    so she fuses her cries with mine'
    just loved this line.. really a heart touching poem

  • 12 years ago

    by aanika R I P

    This is a totally WOW!! I'm speechless the flow amazing, feelings pouring out like anything could simply feel the intensity of the very moment expressed in your write... hearty 5/5 :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    Some great descriptive writing going on here Joarz, I love the contradiction with minute droplets and showering, doesn't make too much sense but works!!

    I would just delete every full stop you have here to help with the flow.

    So? When are we going to see more of your poetry? You write very well.
    regards

  • 12 years ago

    by Hellon

    You have a lot of good sentences here but..that's all they are right now...sentences. Get rid of the periods after each line...mix the sentences around a little and you will come up with a much better poem IMO for example...

    Drizzling rain.
    Standing here on my Terrace.
    Minute droplets showering upon my face
    -------------
    Standing here on my terrace
    in the drizzling rain
    minute droplets shower my face

    I'd say..work on this some more...I'll come back to it...

  • 12 years ago

    by BLBrown

    What a wonderful writing. It is so brave, opening oneself to the "inner child," as you say and have done here. I love these lines:

    She feels the manifestation.
    So she fuses her cries with mine.

    I never really thought about "fusing" the past with the present. That's clever!

    I have a lot of childhood pain which I've dealt with in various ways, so this really spoke to me. I pour those memories down on the page...let them rain.

    Nice job!

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