I should have slept instead

This is amazing!!!! brilliantly written, with an amazing flow. well done :) 5/5

This poem is easy to relate to as we all sometimes don't feel in control of our writing, something compels us to write even if we don't want to or plan to. It is the basic need to express and this theme is well developed and interesting to read about. It reminded me of a particular poem I wrote, where I was writing about not being able to stop writing, and I'm sure a lot of others felt the same, so this was good as the reader knows where you are coming from. However, it wasn't all about writing: it goes a deeper to show the feeling that bubble underneath the surface that emerge through the pen. It is quite dark and a good effort is used to use metaphors, such as the singing bird and little sappling. I particularly liked the 'little sapling' image: it portrays innocence, helplessness and a sense that potentially hard times may lay ahead to grow tall. Despite these good points, some of the delivery was a little off-putting in some ways.

For example: the first stanza gets the point across about the need to write, but it is phrased in a somewhat awkward way which contains a contradiction which could be avoided with better wording.

laid my pen to rest,
gave up writing for today,
still these words pour
across my fingertips.
^^
After the first two lines, that's it, the pen is down and you aren't writing. But then in the same sentence the words are still coming across your 'fingertips,' are you miming words, is the ink coming from the pen? It's a bit confusing because it's a paradox on a literal level: How can I be writing if I'm not writing? With editing/rewording this paradox could be avoided, e.g. something like this:

'laid my pen to rest but soon
found it in my hand again
words pouring across my fingertips'

'Sleep evades my eyes,' - This line is a little too literal, that it doesn't really make sense as such. Sleep evades a person, not their eyes. Your eyes closing is a symptom of sleep, not the definition of it, if you understand me. Does it evade your eyes but find other parts of your body? To me that line just doesn't sound right and the poem would be better simply 'sleep evades me' in my opinion.

'growing weary of the tears and heartache.' - Nothing wrong with this line as such, its fine and works, but its a little ordinary. I've seen the same or similar line in 10's if not hundreds of other poems. Even though it may be true and it does reveal more about the poem, putting more effort into the wording may make it more original and appealing to the readers. The one piece of advice a judge gave for one of the big international competitions was to ask yourself 'could anybody else say this?' We should at least aim to be original and work on developing our own style.

Then, after saying this, I highly doubt you wrote this for a competition, as the poem itself says it is more an outpouring of emotion and was personal or theraputive and probably not one you want to be trying techniques etc out on. And there is nothing wrong with that, a lot of poetry is a release of emotions and can't be 'judged' as such. Its just when I saw your this poem, I quite liked it but saw those few things in it I said I'd comment. The principles could be used in your poems in general rather than just this one: i.e. keep trying to be original, appeal to and interest the readers, and be careful about wording. Keep it up!

I would say this poem is unique, but then you make all of your poems unique! I understand the message in the poem, also how you would get the idea to write this but I will never know where you get your metaphors from, they are all just so creative. I guess in this one, there is a lot of small messaged which can be taken from it and the bird can be representing many things depending on what view the reader takes on this.

Nice work.

"Ten twenty pm-

laid my pen to rest,
gave up writing for today,
still these words pour
across my fingertips."

I thought this was an excellent start. It easily pulls the reader in and has that bittersweet tone that I really like. When I first read the beginning couple of verses, I thought the persona is giving up writing and it completely saddened me. It's just sad to know whenever that happens. But when I read that part "today", it was kind of a relief lol.
I have a suggestion: I would change 'across' to: forth from. So it reads, 'pour forth from..' I think it would sound better :)

"Sleep evades my eyes,
causing a colasol
turmoil within."

Usually sleep is peaceful; it's almost an escape from this world. But it is sad to know that for some people, even sleep doesn't give them rest. And you penned that beautifully here. I think 'colasol' should be: colossal?

"I would rather not
write tonight,
because I'm simply afraid
of what the next stanza would say."

This is lovely. I'm sure a lot of poets/writers know this feeling. It's very haunting - how you penned this.

"Aching for that little sapling to grow
around my aura and essence,
growing weary of the tears and heartache."

I love how you added the image of a tree here. A young tree, in fact. It connotes innocence, and saying that the 'little sapling' cannot grow (the persona aches for it to grow, so I assume it cannot grow) is indeed sad. Perhaps the 'tears and heartache' stand for the hindrance for a tree to grow - lack of water, sunlight..

"Wishing the undertaker
would finish his song
with the broken winged bird-"

The 'undertaker' is creepy. Writing that he has a song is very haunting and very unique.

"I just want to go home."

Hm.. this reminds me of how I felt during my Grandmother's funeral.. Powerful write.

"The bird starts to sing,
and the undertaker smiles-"

I'm not so sure what the bird here symbolises. I guess hope?

Beautiful and powerful write as always, Andrea. And it makes me think. Keep it up :)

SOMEONE PLEASE NOMINATE THIS, you get some amazing ideas, aahhhhhh would you give me a bit of them. Im sure this piece means a lot to you. I love it, great job:)