My Grotesque Self

You laugh at me
Diminish what is me
You continue to force me
To see me torn
Coerce things from me
That I regret
Not for you to care
But for me to mourn

My grotesque self
It peers through
My shielding concealment
So often lately
You have me cower
You ruin the refuge
In which I hide
And depend on greatly

The refuge it shelters
My grotesque self
And keeps it at bay
As it sits soundlessly
With no reason
For emerging to you
The shame I hold
It feeds on boundlessly

But each time you seethe
You puncture my layers
Giving my grotesque self
An intensity so keen
As you conquer
And drink my blood in victory
Raising as glass to evil
An evil I hate to have seen

Each and every time
You come close with vice
You don't realise
But one day, yes one day soon
You will see it
You should dread that day
That it's released
But my grotesque self will boon

It shall then be me
I shall then be
The hidden screamer
Inside looking out
As it disheartens you
Tortures and kills you
The stronger share of my one self
My grotesque self throughout