by Marcus blake Aug 10, 2012
category :
Life, society /
inspirational
It's that day dreaming, that loose feeling |
by XxLastHopexX
This poem is well written, although I have a couple suggestions. I would remove the word "and" from the beginning of the fourth line, and in the fifth line I would put "more real" instead of "realer." Lastly I would remove the word "dinner" in the sixth line. These are only suggestions, and my opinion by no means counts for anything. |
by Marcus blake
I put "realer" cause that's the slang term for dangerous streets; I don't mind criticism thought thanks but when I pen a poem I tend to keep it as is, cause if I edit it to your opinions it'd be what you want and not what I had wrote, much appreciated though... |