SO BEAUTIFUL Sherden. I loved the smooth rhyming. The piece took my breath away. 5/5

This one gave me chills, and was very relatable to a number of people ive encountered. several aspects even speak deeply to me which is impressive, as a poets words should speak to everyone. i wouldnt change a god damn thing, absolutely amazing 5/5

Not sure about the title.

I thought this was quite well-written. However there were some awkward wording like:

"But your emotions are as strong as all
And are easily your one true downfall"

due to forced rhymes.
It could be rephrased. I'm not sure about the use of 'all' as it is quite clumsy. I'm not much for rhyming lately, but it woupd sound better if you changed it to 'everyone's". You could also rephrase these couple of verses to connect with the previous lines to: For you emotions are as strong as all / but they easily become your downfall.

Also, the lack of punctuation made the flow jump from time to time.

Great job on the tone and message though.

This is an angry poem. Well...really you just want to shake this person into some sort of sense....it annoys you...yeah?

I liked the fact that you just rhyme in the 3rd and 4th lines of each stanza...somehow it made the anger more apparent?

You come across as so very strong
But deep inside you're vulnerable
I now know better, I finally realise
This anger is simply just your disguise

In this stanza you are accepting them for who they are but sill...wanting to shake them?

I never actually thought it would be interpreted as me being angry at the person, but reading over it, I can see where it came from.

Personally, no, I wasn't angry. I was more, well accepting of this person because I finally realised what was going on internally with this person (my older brother by the way).

I think perhaps, instead of anger, I was a little sorrowful that he hides his emotion behind anger and such, when there are more appropriate outlets.

(If any of that makes sense..?!)

But yes, I do accept him for who he is. He is my brother after all! (:

Thank you ever so much for reading and commenting.