Undestined Letters (collab)

To my darling,

When I'm alone, I think of you
I think of you when I'm alone

When I cry, I remember you
When I remember you I cry

When I smile, I miss you
I miss you when I smile

When I sleep, in my dreams, I see you
I see you in my dreams when I sleep

When I look at your picture, I feel you
I feel you when I look at your picture.

When I look around, I can't find you
I can't find you when I look around.

^^
I love this flipping action here. It's quite unique. It's a nice opening to the poem.

To my sweetheart,

When you feel alone
and think of me,
I am thinking of you too.
When you cry remembering me,
I am kissing away your tears.
When you smile missing me,
I am not far, I'm here.
When you sleep
and dream of me,
I hold you tightly in my arms.
When you look at my picture
and see my face,
please know I am by your side.
When you look around
and can't find me,
I am always in your heart.

^^
I like how this is written in a different style to above.. it gives the impression it is written by a different person (which it indeed might be) - and therefore the lover of the original letter writer..?
I also like the similarity between the two stanzas - implying they think along the same lines..?

Our love remains forever,
reunited we will be.
But I will live inside your heart
until your back with me.

^^
My interpretation is that one of these people are deceased and it's the memory/ghost/angel of the person who is writing the letter... (?) in order to comfort their lover who remains alive.

Overall;
A very uniquely written piece.
I don't even have any suggestions of improvement - it's great the way it is.
A fantastic collaborative work!

5/5

I like this piece, it was interesting and it reminded me of a piece that I never posted because the flipping( of the words, twist? I don't know how to call it) did not work very well on mine, however, in this poem I feel that it did.

This line is one of my favorite:

"When I look at your picture, I feel you
I feel you when I look at your picture."

Well done.

Oh wow...this was so different you guys. I loved the uniqueness of this piece :) well done collab and welk thought out!

So great cocktail of your collab. All the poem tell the effect of action and reaction (or response). Both stanza are telling that but with a different style. Great work. I loved it.