Fragments of Me

Good beginning:"Tears running down my face,

As your voice reminds me I'm a disgrace.

You start with " I love you, but.." and I brace,

Myself as you say that you need your space." esp. the third line with the conjunction "but.."
Could have been better. Keep it up!

Tears running down my face,
As your voice reminds me I'm a disgrace.
You start with " I love you, but.. " and I brace,
Myself as you say that you need your space.

^^
First, and foremost, great imagery here.
Second line: 'I'm a disgrace' - to me, this seems as though you have done something wrong... or perhaps you're referring to your dissheveled appearance with the tears and such..?
Third line: 'I love you but...' -- ah, the dreaded line. Clearly, he isn't looking for commitment right now. And, you can be sure, he will regret it in the future.
Fourth line: I think this 'Myself' should not be capitalised as it seems to be a carry on from the third line... ?

You pack up your things and go on your way,
Leaving me standing here dishelved and astray.
Those dreaded words in my head on replay,
Clearly liking the facts they portray.

^^
First line: Again, great imagery in this line.
Second line: 'dishelved and astray' - firstly, just want to double check 'dishelved' isn't meant to be 'disheveled' - I don't think it is, but its nice to double check. Secondly, this feeling will pass. If he can't care about you now, then he doesn't deserve you.
Third line: the torturing process... why do we always go through this stage in a breakup - things would be easier if we didn't.
Fourth line: I don't really understand this line. Wouldn't you NOT like the facts portrayed? Perhaps, going back to the second line in the first stanza, you have done something disgraceful... or maybe I'm missing something..?

As I lay down I wonder how it could be,
That you left all the fragments of me.
Broken and alone out for the world to see,
The mess you made that can't be refereed.

^^
first line: great imagery - seems to be a theme in this poem.
second line: 'fragments of me' - I love this line. I think this second line should end with a comma instead of a fullstop - seems to connect with the third line more smoothly that way.
third line: if you opt to alter the fullstop to a comma in the second line, I think this line should begin with 'broken' instead of 'Broken (no capitalisation). Then perhaps end in a fullstop at the end of this line. I don't know, maybe I'm confusing the whole thing.
Fourth line: 'can't be refereed' - it's out of control, it's been blown out of proportion.

Overall;
This is such a heartbreaking piece, that so many can relate to (unfortunately). I liked the rhyme; the simple, yet effective, imagery; great expression. Hopefully, I have interpreted it as you intended. If so, I hope you find the happiness with the person you deserve.Also, I hope my suggestions were helpful to you. An amazing write overall.

5/5

You deserve so much better. When they say
they need some space, they actually mean
they want no commitment.
Very sad and I felt the emotion
5/5

Harlea,

The piece turned out to be shaped like a vase, as Khalid said also, don't know if you meant it that way, as a sign of it being broken now?

Anyway, a truly sad message about a man clearly not worthy of your love and affection.

One day they will be out of women falling for them, those men who always seem to have a "but"", following the "I love you". You will find your perfect gift, I am sure of it. Try and work on what I told you, it will help you change your outlook on life and make you super-fit in the process!

Well done, sweetheart, just pour it all out on the pages:)

*big hug*

5/5 Ingrid

So sorrowful piece but with nice rhyming system and semi-vase shape which I liked all. Keep up