Comments : Chapter one

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Your poetry has always been able to touch me like no other, and still I can't ever put my finger on what it really is. I'm guessing your thoughts are just so similar to mine so much I Can't help but smile when reading your work and thinking "thank God someone thinks like me", but you write it out so much better.

    I've been in this situation before...left wondering, questioning everything, and just hoping, you left some kind of mark on that person. This was such a beautiful way of expressing that.

    I love questions in poems so you can imagine how much I love this poem <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    You're so love sick it's cute lol. I know exactly who this poem is about so I want to squeeze you!

    I really love how you incorporate your natural every day life style and work into this with the answering phone calls and writing prescriptions etc. That was wonderful and sometimes it's nice to have those realistic settings in poetry.

    The question part was my favourite, I love bunched questions together, it had a nice pace here and a the 'who's loving you nowadays' was my favourite because of the curiosity. It explains a lot. It's as though you were saying you two were once together, then not and now you don't really have the insight into that persons life you once used to.

    The icky black stuff was interesting but also quite sad, something about it, it reminds me of tar and we all know what that can do to someone. Don't see yourself as that, see yourself as someone who did wonderful things for someone.

    Beautiful poem, lovely.
    Mel

    • 12 years ago

      by Yakari Gabriel

      Icky black stuff inside their lungs is what people get when they smoke tooooo much.. XD isn'tt it?
      Don't squeeze me!

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Yep it is, lol also known as Tar lovely.