Journey

This was kind of "cute" in a way, although you describe a heavy burdened journey on an unfinished path, you were grateful for family carrying you every step of the way.

I enjoyed the opening stanza and your personification of blocking rays of hope! Nice poem Thoma :)

Sometimes is one word and not two. I agree with Khlaid on the tense of darkens, should read darken.

I think this poem really reaches out to me, it speaks to me a lot even though very short. I think your wording is very good, I especially like the way you desribe the weight on your shoulders, my best verse.

I was slightly disappointed in your ending verse, I feel these 2 lines are less powerful and I wonder if perhaps they could be added to so it has a more powerful impact, you state your journey is not over, which implies you are a fighter. So maybe add in an extra line to do with this? like it is not over yet because I am a fighter, or will continue to fight, or because I will not give up?

Good work though, I really related to this and enjoyed reading it x

Great piece thomas! I loved it. Some critiques:
'darkens my visions' should be 'darken my vision' because neither glasses can be singular nor vision can be plural, if I'm not mistaken.
'They have seen so many miles,
carrying me all the way' should read
'They have been so many miles,
carrying me all the way'
because 'been' here refers to 'passed'
I enjoyed reading your work.