Mentally Undermined

Aww, the title of this poem caught my eye. I really like how you penned this poem, I felt I could relate to some of the emotions you showed.

I can't explain the turmoil inside;
It reaps me blind every time;
Takes me by surprise, but there I am;
Completely alone, once again;

^ I think you really showed how much internal struggle you're facing and how no words could describe it.

No matter how close, they don't survive;
I won't allow them to stay near;
Time after time I'll push them away;
Away, I fear is where they'll stay.

^ I got this stanza more as I read the rest of the poem, but it's clear that you push anyone who gets too close to you

I really liked this part in the next stanza:
"My mental barrier won't let them in."

^ this kind of reminded me of how we feel towards people we're not very comfortable with. I know because I've felt it... and there just an instinct or something tell me to stay away from that person

I really liked the ending. I think the emotions you expressed were clear, and it is a very relatable subject. We all probably feel this way at times, and may have pushed people away as you described.

"I know I must take the risk some time;
But first, I need to overcome my mind."

^ Love the ending - it was perfect! I know we do have to overcome our minds! But yes it's true, when you're hurt it's hard to take that risk again, but you should decide when it's worth the risk or not!

Great poem! Really enjoyed it =)

Sometimes all we need is a break. This is a very good piece because it is a poem which portrays an universal language: we are afraid of being hurt. Besides we are always our best enemies. My mind captured me and it has been difficult to be in jail and I know that to be free, I have to overcome it.

Thank you Hellon for your suggestions. I will review them now. (:

First of all can I say I was surprised, after reading the content of this poem, to see you have it listed in the friendship section because...although I know it's about you keeping friends at a distance I think it would be more suited in the poems about life...I think it would also get more feedback there?

The poem itself is honest and written from the heart I know. I have a couple of suggestion for your consideration...

I can't explain the turmoil inside;
It reaps me blind every time;
Takes me by surprise, but there I am;
Completely alone, once again;

No matter how close, they won't survive;
I won't allow them to stay near;
Time after time I'll push them away;
Soon, away is where they will stay.

^^^^^You use the word won't in the first and second line here so I suggest you say don't in line one. I also think I would be more suitable than I'll in line three.

Line four is a little ragged and...I found myself stumbling over it...just didn't flow as well as the other stanzas...I'd suggest..

Away, I fear is where they'll stay.

Friends, family - no matter our relation;
It won't survive such infiltration;
No sneaky slips; invaders won't win;
My mental barrier won't let them in.

^^^^^

Again you use won't twice...maybe change this also.

***

I've said goodbye to so many people,
'cause I find it difficult to reach out.
Don't know what's wrong with me,
Maybe I'm just messed up mentally.

Slight interaction can have me scared;
Perhaps I just refuse to be hurt.
I know I must take the risk some time;
But first, I need to overcome my mind.

^^^^

I think line one is a little too long ..

Slight interaction leaves me scared...?

There are only my thoughts, of course, but...I did like the raw emotion here regardless.

Khalid: Thank you for your comment. I will review your suggestions now.

Baby Rainbow/ Saffie (?): Thank you also for your comment and for your suggestions with the title. 'Rejection for Protection' has a nice ring to it, but think I will go with 'Mentally Undermined' this time. I may change my mind but.... Thank you also, for letting me know I'm not alone in this feeling of social anxiety.

Take care the both of you.
A.