Comments : Unsaved Poetess (Tanka)

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Meme! What is this?? I'm in love with it!! Omg, so creative, amazing wording, and really unique way of expressing being "unsaved", so to speak. New favorite Tanka!! Adding to faves :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    This is lovely, Meme. I love the use of parchment and poetess, they somehow connect.
    This is a beautiful way of writing about writing and losing hope, perhaps? And about the said person who broke their promise of 'saving' you. It's touching and tragic.

    What I'm not sure about is the use of the semi-colon. I don't think you need it since you've placed a conjunction already. You coupd replace it with a comma though if you want to add a certain pause there for the reader. And you could move the semi-colon before 'you never...'. Replace the period there because you'd naturally need a 'but' or 'yet' there to separate the different ideas presented but the syllable count restricted you. So the semi-colon would work; it would connect them.

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    You are so damn creative. This is perfection, whether by imagery, flow, diction, simplicity, or density. I can read this all day without getting tired. High Five!

    • 12 years ago

      by Meme

      Oh God, thanks for the big smile you put on my face :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Wow, Meme!
    You never fail to amaze me with your words!!! I can't stop reading it, I bet I've read it 10 times and just can't seem to stop, lol. Start to my favs it goes!

    Creative is an understatement. That feeling of thinking someone is going to be there for you.... and then when you need them they aren't... it's heartbreaking. It reminds me of them 'friends' that say "call me when you need me" ... and when you really do, all is unanswered and goes to voicemail. :/

    Word usage is beautiful pen, parchments, and poetess... just an amazing flow!

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Yup, he never saved me. I could relate.

    I love your recent pieces. Sorry I couldn't comment before. :(
    Mwa.

  • 12 years ago

    by Formidable Muse

    It's crazy how strong that statement is. It's beautiful.