Her Falling

by Dawn   Aug 26, 2012


Lips
single
out the warmth
of a small rose
scented candle lit
only for no purpose.
Tracing lace of a once great
history, she allows cold words
to escape from a mind that is long
since been retired. Is she truly
the one we wish to blame? Breathe deeply, love.

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  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    My only suggestion would be to remove your comma after small and before rose. It seemed an odd place to have a line break and didn't really fit well there.

    Etherees are hard to do, especially when you let the lines flow, but I thought this was a great job :) My syllables are always usually off because of my "drawl" on things, but it seems you have all the right syllables working for you :) Nice job!

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