Origami Senryu

Hi you made me smile and wonder, love it

Andrea...

Origami to me is such a creative thing and so delicate...much like you but.you put a spin on it and made it sad and represent being carved into someone different...

The senyru by itself was lovely...and the whole poem thought out...
more amazing poetry from you. WOW

xxx

I think I always hate the "center" alignment until I get to your poems. I feel like you always have a neat shape, intended or not, written into your poem. Here I see a lantern. I usually see candles or whatnot, so it may just be coincidence to see light in your poems every time, haha!

I really liked this poem. Even though you gave a bit of a description, I'm still pretty lost as I'm trying to fit together exactly what this could mean, and instead I just allowed myself to get lost in the beauty of this poem, which is easy to do as well.

I really love the ending as a senryu, and I love the whole idea here. Ah, I feel like I'm saying the same thing over and over, but I really just love this soft poem!

First of all...and, hopefully to make you smile...a rant...

I hate that...after all the time Janis spent 'fixing'things when he appeared the last time....I still keep getting logged out of the love section...rolls eyes....are you watching J?

anyway...now that I'm finally here...

(The shadow speaks)

Your body was parchment
between my fingers,
folding, molding,
feeling the creases
of your eyes,
watching me closely,
I shaped you beyond
timeless tragedies,
and you became
my elegant origami-
^^

I love the use of the word parchment because it brings to mind something that was stiff and unyeilding in the beginning and it took a lot of effort to get the folds quite right...sometime they spring back in defiance... :)

(My voice echoes)

Paper frays in time,
souls unfolded,
exposing truth,
my beauty faded,
leaving me crumpled.
^^^^
Well...the print on the paper may fade...it can yellow and curl around the edges but....if you take care of it...it will still remain in some form right?

I wish to be the paint upon his finger tips
my lips shall kiss the canvas.

(True Love)

two shall breathe nature
within a written senryu
leaving grief behind.
^^^^
although some may say this is not a perfect senryu it is very much a perfect ending!

Note: The ending is a senryu
5-7-5 syllable count.

I don't usually explain my pieces,
but this one is a bit different-
In the past I was someones
origami... and now
my love is a written poem....
lasting forever

This is very clever Maple, it fitted together well.

I adored this bit very much :

I shaped you beyond
timeless tragedies,
and you became
my elegant origami-

- the words timeless tragedies together are so powerful. Love it.

Nice work my favourite tree xxx