Oblivious

It's kinda long, sorry. Here goes.

He's oblivious,
He hugs me as a friend,
Nothing more,
He tells me about his girlfriends,
And asks me for advice about them,
I somehow put on a fake smile,
Cry invisible tears,
And answer,
I wonder if he can see through my smile,
See the pain masked by my eyes,
I want him to,
But I'm afraid he doesn't,
He's seen me in everything,
From a dress to baggy shorts,
Even a bathing suit,
My eyes all red from chlorine,
My biggest fear is I'll go through life and never tell him,
What if he likes me too,
I just can't bring myself to do it,
I'm not afraid to tell him,
I'm afraid of what will happen after I say it,
There's no way he knows I cry at night,
How my smile's not just one of happiness,
I've known him forever,
But now I hardly see him,
Only on the weekends,
In the summer,
I've tried to just not think about him,
But I miserably failed,
Everything reminds me of him,
I can't escape the thoughts,
I'm not sure if I would want to,
I love to fall asleep,
Because I see him in my dreams,
We can spend hours talking,
He has amazing eyes,
A beautiful brown,
He's weird,
Not unlike myself,
He makes me feel beautiful every time he looks at me,
He's the one guy I don't worry about impressing,
Because even if I make a fool of myself,
We both just laugh it off,
And I can tell he's laughing with me,
Not at me,
I'm surprised he can't tell I like him,
Every time I see him I light up,
When he's gone,
My eyes water,
But I don't let anyone see me cry,
I don't want to lie and tell them I'm fine when I'm really not,
Sometimes I wish he knew how I felt,
But he doesn't,
Because I won't tell him,
And he's oblivious.