Comments : True to life

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I'll just copy&paste my comment here. :)

    I have to admit that at first I wasn't too fond of this poem because of the constant repetitions; I do realize that they are intended, but they bugged me a little bit and I did not think I would pick this as the best poems to be honest.
    Once I finished that part I comprehended you using those repetitions to emphasize the cliches (or expectations) humans(probably mostlikely women) have of men.

    "A Man doesn't love."
    ^ When I first read this I thought that this isn't true or I do not think that people say that, but I soon realized that many women do say that men are heartless because of breaking up with them, cheating or whatnot. That underlines that this "statement" isn't made by men, but rather by hurt women, who try to make guys look like the bad ones (though both parties are to be blamed for a failed relationship most of the time).

    Oh and I can probably gladly say that I do not believe that the way you described men is the actual stereotype.

    Back to the poem:

    "But if these truly are the criteria for being
    a Man, then what am I? "
    ^ You deciding to let this standout by seperating it from the first stanza, using space lines was necessary and well used because this question captures the persona's doubt very well. Questioning his being because of some shallow cliches turned the perspective of the poem because at first it was a distant listing, but at this part it turns into a personal "investigation".

    Now that second part of your poem is what made me decide to pick this one because it's sincere, genuine and beautiful, just beautiful.
    The way you decided to clarify was quite smart too because on one side the persona thought it was important to emphasize that he does have feelings he is willing to show without telling too much and then get rid of the other cliches before saying that he does love and wants to be loved.
    This clarification wasn't only personal, but also well-written because it doesn't feel reiterating, but you're adding something new.

    You also stay true to your structure and finish your poem with an intruiging question, so yeah all these things are why I picked your poem in the end. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Timothy

    Truly, truly a lovely piece of writing, sir. I loved the amount of individualism and expression that was induced within your words. It was also quaint how much I could relate to it - I also cry every time I watch return. Congrats!

  • 12 years ago

    by Thomas

    Being a man is only a social vision on manhood. You don't have to be what society wants you to be, be yourself. Cause what really matters is that you like yourself for being who or what you are. Don't be something you are not cause that leads to misery and depression.

    Very good poem to put this in the spotlight

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    What a great serious of questions, i think this poem proves you are more of a man than the others, yes it does have unusual form, but you cannot take anything away from the content and the message. Reading this has made me realise i am in fact a better man also.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lemon Squeezy

    A true man is balanced. A balnce of humility and strength; A balnce of tears and tenacity; a A balance of Love and Leadership. Men ought not strive to be cavemen. They ought to strive for Balance in life. I think u expressed these thoughts Well. Keep it up!