Wow this is really nice..the flow is great and the rhyming is wonderful
a sad story though..I almost cried while reading it..is this a true story?
nice choice of words and metaphor
I can't really make corrections because I think it's great the way it is

good job
keep writing

This is such a sad write but the idea was very original IMO....I know I used to draw smiley faces on the window years ago but...to combine this within the story of someone who will never be old enough to get married was just amazing. I loved the flow throughout the verse...very well done with this one!

Very well written! 5/5

This is superb, such detail and such sadness, It's a shame I have used my 3 votes this week as I would have nominated it.
So I will add you to my favourite authors and keep an eye out for anything new.

The pace and flow of this is fantatsic, it is so tight there are no words that don't earn their place and you tell the story really well.

definate 5/5

Truly superb storytelling! Utterly enthralling read.