Goldfish Lost in the Sea

by Stephen   Aug 31, 2012


I slowly fall apart at the seams,
like a shoe you've worn for far too long.
Sitting then pacing, then sitting again
at these times I wish I could be strong.

The wind whispers while passing by,
escorted by a fragrance that will forever remind me of you.
The sweet smell of those flowers, so elegant and pure,
yet fragile as silence, so easy to destroy.

My days seem as endless as the blue skies above,
I feel like a goldfish lost in the sea.
I'm not use to this change, the world seems so scary
without you right here next to me.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    I feel like this is a soft poem that could be easily sung by some really big singers....Adele? Maybe. I loved the rhymes even though I don't like them usually and I also don't like such love poems as they could be really cheesy and overdone. But I felt like I needed to give this one a chance.

    The word choice was kinda strong, you could do better though, especially in the last stanza.

    I'm sorry this comment is bad but I'm through my phone and having no time. Sorry bout the typos too.
    Just wanted to leave something on one of your pieces so you won't think I forgot about you.
    : )

    Good piece, in all.

  • 12 years ago

    by Sparkling snow flake

    Such a strong and powerful poem embedded with so much depth and inner meaning!
    I really like the emotion seeping out of every line, like a screaming voice from the eerie abyss of your mind!
    The flow and word choice was very good and suited well to this theme. I like the beginning metaphor of life connecting to the seams of shoes. I found that that was a very effective way to start the poem as it made the reader want to read on and find out more!

    My favorite part of the poem was
    yet fragile as silence, so easy to destroy.
    So deep and effective

    5.5 from me

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