Iceman-of Fire part (2) [Alphabet Form]

by Sunshine   Aug 31, 2012


Alphabet Form, whatever it is, a club challenge lol.
Thanks Bob!
__________

And I never thought it would
Be that hard to move on, I
Could have suffered outside your
Door for years and years till my
Eyes turned white, your tongue of
Fire licked every corner of my
Glorious being. You turned my
House into ashes of ...scrambles.

I never saw my empires as
Jungles of classy trees. But you
Killed everything that made sense.
Look around you, listen how I
Mourn for owning completely
Nothing.

Oh, how cold you are,
Perhaps just as cold, just as
Quiet as you have always been.
ruining my fair youth with your
Sensations of water and ice,
Trolling my thoughts, and warmth.

Undoubtedly I never thought I would
Vent like a burnt woman; I
Wanted to foresee you as an
X person who once knocked
Yearning for anything. Now I'm the
Zero girl, missing her...X

by: Rania Moallem

Iceman part one:

http://www.best-love-poems.com/poems.php?id=1201221

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by One Man Clan

    Yup, This speaks creativity

  • 12 years ago

    by Mr Rush

    I really like how you ended this one! The alphabet acrostic, which I've heard called an abecedarian (I think!) is very tough to finish! There's a sense of individuality about the form of this, and the sole one word line, 'Nothing', was effective, and the abrupt ending was unique, suprising, and clever.
    Much enjoyed.

  • 12 years ago

    by X Harlea X

    Wow Nana. This was lovely, loved how you made it into something sad yet simple, with every letter of the aphlabet :) wonderful job! ((5))
    ~Harlea

  • 12 years ago

    by Hellon

    I'm not sure what form this is either...I can't see the acrostic part (maybe I'm missing something)..I just seen the alphabet part?

    Alphabet poetry is quite hard to do and...to be honest...I think your chopped sentences and dragged them down just to make it fit..frangmenting them? It's not a bad poem...it's actually very good...just my opinion on that part :)

    This part...honestly...I could be wrong so...ask someone else but...

    never saw my empires as
    Jungles of classy trees. But you
    Killed everything that makes sense.

    I think...if you use killed it should be made or...kill and makes....not 100% sure though?

    There is no doubt in my mind that this is a great poem and....these are just my thoughts...

    • 12 years ago

      by Sunshine

      Regarding the lines, actually it's just that we are not allowed to use more than 6 words per line.

      As for the "makes" I edited, it, thanks a lot :)

      <3

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow!!! I love this poem!!! First, this alphabetical form is tough but you somehow wrote a creative, emotional poem with great flow! I love that it is so smooth, and isn't forced at all... I'm in love with everything about this poem... I love the title, and how you showed how cold and difficult this person is... and describing him as an Iceman is brilliant!! I love the ending... so well-written!

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