Baby Rainbow

Not even this soft white tissue
can soak up these heavy tears
which are forming rivers down my cheeks.

^^
Amazing description here.
This first stanza sets the tone of the piece without giving too much detail as to why you are crying/upset leaving the reader in suspense. Good work!

As they quietly hit the ground
the grass absorbs them whole,
claiming my grief for you.

^^
I like the link between the first and second stanza. Also, that you have added only a bit more information so the reader must read on to find out the next tidbit of the story.

My eyes feel numb with pain
as they witness before them
a mothers most dreaded sight.

^^
I can truly see red rimmed eyes, a woman in disarray from the tears shed. Again more information to the story.

I run my hands so slowly
around the tiniest wooden box,
creating splinters in my heart.

^^
I like this stanza.. like there's a connection between your hands and heart - not physically but mentally. Not actual splinters but figuratively speaking - causing such pain/ sorrow to you.

Peeling my fingers apart from the edges,
they take you away from me
and gently lift you upon their shoulders.

^^
Now I understand that this box you speak of is indeed a coffin. Clearly there has been a death; clearly grief has taken ahold of all.

Placing you lower and lower
into the deep hole in the soil
until your coffin disappears.

^^
Your imagery is amazing - such detail that it makes the reader feel as if they are there in reality, by your side perhaps, seeing what you are seeing...

The nightmare now begins
as I sharply pinch my eyes
but I cannot seem to wake.

^^
Often when I have a nightmare, I feel as though I'm drowning or in a black hole (kind of like depression I suppose) but mainly that I cannot escape that in order to wake I must overcome the fears or pain that take hold of me... Perhaps this is the same for you? Except in your case, it is reality.

Is it really time to let you go?
To say goodbye
before we've even said hello?

^^
The last line of the stanza makes me think you haven't met this person so perhaps it could have been a miscarriage in birth? Or perhaps that you hadn't met this person due to a family disagreement before your time and you inevitably suffered by not meeting this part of your family... I think the first one though.

I will never know the colour
that your eyes we're meant to be
or wipe your tears from them.

^^
(Above) The first one then.
I again love your description here: I can imagine you holding a faceless baby - brings tears to my eyes truly.

Nor would I ever listen to
the sound of your laughter echoing
as I tickled you with love.

^^
Again: my imagination fills the void: A faceless baby laughing -- but no sound is heard, just silence. It's really eerie actually.

Instead I have to lay you down
in a doll sized satin dress
with a pink bow in your hair.

^^
Amazing imagery... The sadness I think picks up a notch here though it already was powerful throughout the piece.

Engraved upon your polished box
is "mummy's baby rainbow"
To show what you mean to me.

^^
So touching! The screens gone all blurry on me. :(

For in my darkest lonely hours
when the rain drowned my heart
and lightening struck my soul,

^^
'Rain drowned my heart' - I love the expression, I think its somehow stronger, more powerful than if you had said tears.
'Lightening' should be 'lightning'
I love this whole stanza!!

In the 8 whole months I carried you,
my troubles seemed to fade
and the thunder was calm inside.

^^
I don't like how you wrote the '8' -- just personally of course, such things annoy me as a writer - ignore me though lol
I love this stanza also, it truly shows the change that you had undertaken since finding out about the baby - the positive impact upon your life and soul.....

You were my ray of sunshine,
my rainbow after the storm.
The most precious gift of all.

^^
LOVE THIS STANZA!
Puts everything in perspective and really love the metaphors. Beautiful.

My life now feels so empty,
dark clouds lie overhead
and black stars fill the sky.

^^
The incorporation of the sky really gives vision to your emotions.

I see my future in black and white
with no colour, purpose or hope
and no lucky pot of gold.

^^
'lucky pot of gold' -- I like this connection with the rainbow. Beautiful work. And the mention of colours - how without this baby girl, you have no rainbow/colour in your life.

Just a heart broken, childless mother
who is forever uncompleted
without the love of her baby rainbow.

^^
Such a sad, beautiful ending.
___________________________________
OVERALL;
I love how you have incorporated the sky into this piece - your profile name and also the name you somewhat gave your unknown child.

I am sorry for your loss, Saffie. I can't imagine the haertbreak that you must feel, though I was able to feel a snippet of such emotion with your words.

You must realise though, that you are still that beautiful person with or without that baby girl, and maybe one day you can give her baby brother or sister ...

Take care Saffie.

Very strong indeed... Your poem got tears in my eyes and I am just left stunned... be strong... heart touching piece...

Hmmmm
this piece left me in awe
it's really sad, But we happen to understand that Life eventually does Go on
keep strong
5/5

This poem is simply heartbreaking. It's impossible for me to imagine the heart ache you experience after carrying your child for 8 months and then losing it.

They say life goes on but I imagine yours just stopped turning for a while. But don't lock yourself up and keep writing, it will make it bearable in time.

Stay strong!

This is the most sorrowful piece of you saffie. It excited every cell in my body and dissolved all my clotted blood. How can a sorrowhearted person like you be happy after such frustration, I wander! I feel the whole poetry sways with such a sorrowful wind. Losing a baby is very hard but even though the life continues with the still alive people after him/her. I really lived every word of it to the end. Well-penned piece 5/5