Loving you

YeArs after years of being hurt and beaten id believed that im not worth nor capable of loving and be loved... Then you came into mylife and suddenly u filled the emptiness i feel inside... 
You colored my world and gave me so many reasons to fight. You made me smile and bring back sunshine into my lyf...
For quite so long id felt secured and loved, it was so perfect! The feeling is quite so overwhelming that id started to believe that it will be for good..
Then suddenly the rainbow filled feeling had gone.. You've changed drastically only ro find out you were falling out of love on me..
I was so shocked to cry and i've felt my whole world crashed into pieces that i dont know how to picked it up and sewn it together..devastated is understatement cuz the overflowing pain just filled my whole being and soul
that i wanna lay down and cry but too stunned to do so...
Thus id started to live on my own hoping one day i' ll have ol the answers to all the why's that was left unaswered...stating to pick up my shattered and taterred world and trying ol my myt to bring it back in one.. But i know no matter what lyf wont be the same agen without you, for here i am so drown and down pretending to be okay and to live my life normally yet j know it will never be the same agen for loosing you means dying inside biy by bit and piece by piece.. But i'd rather die loosing you to sum1 hum u truely loved than to have you and see u cry.. 
Loving you is living and loosing you is dying but i'll embrace my death with a bitter sweet smile on my lips than to live and see you dying...