Comments : You told me

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I like it.

    Just:

    "parchment dry mouth of mine"
    ^
    I think you need a hyphen between parchment and dry since you're using it as an adjective for mouth.

    Keep writing.

    • 12 years ago

      by Dawn

      Thank you.

  • 12 years ago

    by Wild flower

    There's some sadness in this poem, but I love it. Well done:)

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Without those unnecessary adjectives, this write might be creativity at its best.

    Well-done. A favourite.