Last moments

The flow . rhythm and rhyme of this love poem is outstanding ,delivering a sad emotional loving tribute to the object of effection
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This is so sad. But I loved it! I can feel the emotions in the poem. You wrote it perfectly :)

Wow, I loved this, so deep, powerful, incredible

Good piece, I noticed you focused on the rhymes on some parts, I thought it will be better to focus on them in the entire piece.

Here are my suggestions incorporated in the whole poem.
I changed some parts, You are free to ignored all of them though or to take them into account.

The pain and sorrow locked inside
A love for you that never died,
and so, my dear, I sit by your side
wishing to heal your inner cried.

Nobody except, you and I;
We know, it was love at first sight
A Forbidden love stronger than ever
We always hope to lay by each other, forever.

But the cold hands of death are visiting again, today,
He fills our hearts with fright
And just as before, we try to stop him from taking you away
we hold your hand, we help you fight.

But it is not enough, not this time
I sit as I listen to your breathe downtime
knowing the inevitable it's on its way
I squeeze your hand, trying to take your pain away.

I kiss you for the last time
I wipe your tears and fears off your face,
Letting you know, as your last breath is taken away
that our love will forever stay

Awh this poem is literally the most beautiful sad love poem i have ever read but the sheer beauty of it takes my breathe away!! the imagery and the emotions makes me want to start to do poetry like this all over again! :)

"Nobody except me and you
Love at first sight we always knew;
Forbidden love stronger than ever
Wishing we could lay by each other forever"

that is my favorite part of the poem sweetie! :)5/5

Queen Ash