Unidentified

The art of saying so much
by using a couple of words is dazzling
this is great poem
with one clear message

god belss you
5/5

BANG! Thats what I got from this piece. No need for so many words to describe the whole situation. You used straight forward to the point words and delievered the whole story in just three lines.

Bravo!

Ohhhhhhh interesting senryu!! I just love people who write interesting senryus! You really can say so much in so little lines. This was beautiful. LOVED that you chose an amazing word to describe your topic, and that it was also 5 syllables so that your ending could end with 1 word. States in so bluntly, brings the poem alive if you ask me.

Great write!

I am always a lover of silent words and this poem is exactly that. One can say so much with so little its unreal. The word "Another" leads me to believe you are passionate about the recurring process of societies' judicial and political unbalance in life. Death has become something of normality these days and bodies are but numbers on a dice; unaccounted for and unseen. this is such a talent.

BEAUTIFUL, Saffie.

I always look forward to such senyrus. This one holds a lot of meaning with such a simple diction. Gun crimes are everywhere I guess. In North Lebanon, people are afraid to step out of their homes, for they fear getting killed by anonymous snipers that only do this to set fire to X sect vs. Y sect.... Of course there are other causes for such crimes, like stealing... or any other cause....

What I liked the most is that you did amazing in capturing the essence of the crime scene in chronological order: 1st line - gun shot / 2nd line - deat / 3rd line - investigations. This may came natural, but Bravo!

And also, my favorite line was the 3rd one because you used a word of 5 syllables that is the cornerstone of your poem, so my modest suggestion is that you use it as a title since your title doesn't tell much due to the fact that the poem is so clear. So Unidentified as a title would be more enticing. Anyway, that is still an opinion... :P

I am probably speaking a lot over 3 words, but know that what attracts me the most in poetry is being able to stay realistic in a creative way.

Hats-Off!