Imprisoned Victim

by Baby Rainbow   Sep 3, 2012


Being guided through the old stiff door
the officer leads me to an interview room.
She tells me politely to take a seat
and try to feel relaxed.

My stomach is doing somersaults
and twisting itself in knots.
I can feel my heart beat faster
than the beats of a bongo drum.
I cannot move from the wooden chair
as my body freezes like ice.

My ears listen intently to her voice
as she calmly explains procedures.
I hear her words as the sound comes out
but they remain unregistered to my brain.

Trembling with fear, my anxiety builds up
and my chest closes tight like a fist.
The lady can see I am in distress
and advises to take deep breaths.
I try to catch the air in my lungs
but it doesn't feel like enough.

It's the biggest decision I have to make,
with the pressure running high.
I and only I alone
can make a statement of this crime.
But I and only I alone
knows how traumatic this choice will be.
To confront my abuser
and look directly at his face,
In a room full of unknown people
with peering eyes and judging ears.

Society reminds me again and again
of the consequences if I don't report.
This abuser will re-offend
then I will be to blame.

So while I sit here in this dull grey room
surrounded by 4 blank walls,
Why is it I feel like the criminal
if it was you who did the crime?

Only one question remains to be answered
as I pick up the pen to write.
Will I be able to carry this through
and relive my haunted past?
When in the end the worst you'll receive
is a slap upon the wrist.
Which is nothing compared to the torture I endured
while held captive in your web.

No punishment will ever be enough
for the way you have broken me.
The tears flow down my beaten face
as I put the pen back down.
I run out the door and race back home
to bury my head in shame.
It's here in solitude I will remain
too ashamed to face the world.

Imprisoned forever in my damaged mind,
punished for not being brave.

Saffie
21

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by MyHalozChokinMe

    Christ. =/

    First off, I want to let you know that there is one line in particular that hit me hard, and when I read it, I was right there next to you.

    "Why is it I feel like the criminal
    if it was you who did the crime?"

    There wasn't an answer to this question when you wrote this, there isn't now, and probably won't ever be.

    This is how the justice system leaves us feeling.

    My mind is all over the place with this write.
    I can so relate to the part where you state that society leads you to believe that you will be just as guilty as your abuser, if you choose to stay silent, that they will move on to their next victim and then you will take some of that blame for not doing anything about it.

    SCREW THAT.

    Saffie, I feel for you. I know this torture that you're writing of. My abuser, has never really faced any consequence to speak of. He's a repeat offender, in and out of prison, each time he is released he finds me and never once has the justice system put anything into place to keep this from happening. So, you speak up and he continues. You stay silent he continues. There is just no f ucking winning.

    There is no shame in anything you wrote of here. You should not punish yourself for not being brave, because it took more strength than you realize JUST to transcribe your pain.

    *sigh*

    Another incredibly powerful write. <3

  • 12 years ago

    by One Man Clan

    Well, 1st of all, I'm not sure if this is something you've went through or chose to write about,

    but I know for a fact that in situations like these
    there isn't no shame in hiding, because the emotional stress and pain can sometime be too much to overcome, and in that, There is no shame.

    The ability to be able to write about such incidents is a blessing in disguise! because while writing this i'm sure you've felt enormous and tremendous pain, but through you the world can understand the savierty of such disdains!
    and a better understanding is needed in order to raise awareness amognst people who I assume put instincts above morality.

    Give thanks for the most high for the ability to physically write, and mentally think, and channel our thoughts!.

    5/5 and this is a winner in any book.

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