5 AM Departure

Sorry, Jenni, it took so long for me to comment. I'd rather not copy my comment from the contest; it wasnt that good, lol. Anyway, congrats! This is one of my favorites from the entire contest, actually.
The word choice is great, and I love how you take each challenge/prompt and write with it. The title, of course, stood out and I like it.

"Between dusk and dawn
dreams wafted in mid-air,"

I'malways so fond of poetry that speaks of dreams. I myself write so often about dreams and unconsciousness and such. I love how you made 'dreams' the object here, as though giving it substance; I have a really good image of it in my head.

"However, that morning,
I did not awaken to cyan eyes
and although I mimicked
your moony murmur,
trying to mingle it with mine
I cannot reassemble it."

The m-sounds here were lovely. This showed loneliness and I like that. It is sad but not over-done.

There are a lot of things I really want to say about this piece but it seems I cant express it in/with words. The cursing at the wind is a tad bit cliche but it is fitting and shows frustration so well.. perhaps because the persona is forced to leave? and she cannot be with the person/people she loves? The gladioli imagery and concept is brilliant. It's so creative, and I wish I wrote that. :) And the mention of death is just perfect with the contest but it wasnt really touching any idea from the book/movie so it showed originality. Then the way you incorporated the quote but giving it a different meaning is lovely.

This is just wonderful Jen!! It's so powerful filled with sharp imagery that allows the reader to almost live in the thoughts you've penned. I'm not sure what else to say about this, I don't think anything needs improvement, it's written so well. I love the vocabulary you've used. Great job once again, this is just an awesome piece of poetry! :))

Omg, Jenni, wow.

Your title made me wonder what this would be about, it is quite mysterious. The words you have submitted into this poem are awesome, there are so mnay which are not used every day in poetry and this makes it even more unique.

You write amazingly and very interestingly. Thanks for this one! xx

Love it!!

This is the second poem i have read today that makes me unable to comment properly.....so for now i will just say that i love it and i will return once my brain has absorbed it lol x

I cursed at the wind
for making me follow
the river slinking along its banks,
as though I was part of the path
of least recistance.

I thought this stranza was perfect
Really powerful to me

I liked the word choice and the flow it was
A joy to read

Well done jen Jen