The City

^ Lu, nice thoughts.

Pulled apart the fragile strands of my life
Stole the joy tinted breath from my lungs
Plucked the freedom from my chest and left me

^ Indicates the author was left by his/her former lover. And the poem describes the inner turmoil of the author who feels like a stranger in a familiar city. Perhaps because his/her former lover left the city for multiples reasons. Also the reason for feeling alone.

Empty

<statements>

Without

<Statements>

you

<Statements>

Empty without you.

Nice format.

Okay, this poem has me puzzled

because what I'm reading seems like it's about someone who made you heartbroken, but the title doesn't click to me.

But I love the form.. how everything is tied down in that stanza is refreshing.

And well, how everything is written.

I'm thinking that the city is the one that made you empty.
Life in a city is busier than in small town.

so too much stress could have taken the freedom from your chest..
and the cities pollution hmm stole the joy tinted breath from your lungs? or gave? this reminds me of cigarets.

okay, this are my thoughts

perhaps, you moved to the city and you left someone where you were? and so by moving to the city the city cauased you to be "empty without you"

hehe.. not sure, I can't think well, but I like this piece.

I like the form this one takes, those short lines actually give me a slower paced rhythm than I'd have expected, and they lead nicely into the ending. Obviously with more descriptive detail there's a little more clarity and imagery to 'show' the reader rather than 'tell' them, but what is most striking is how the final line turns everything on its head; despite the pain caused by this other person, and the suggestion it was caused maliciously, the narrator is still empty without them. Heartbreaking.