Death Trap

by LostWords   Sep 8, 2012


I sit in silent isolation,
chaotic thoughts fill my mind.
Contemplating all my situations,
together at last or left behind.

Leaving the once perfect table,
the chairs now alone as I.
Thinking I was invincible,
could stop the hands of time.

Pulling myself through the hall,
lifeless bodies crushing me.
The fallen tends to always fall,
a death trap is all I see.

    report violation
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  • 12 years ago

    by Steven Croat

    Really sad poem...It is full with pain:(

  • 12 years ago

    by Darren

    There is so much pain in this it is quite moving, although I can honestly say I think they were the stupid ones. Again the form of this is awesome, you really hit hard with your poetry.

    My only suggestion is in stanza 2 line 2 the final 'as I' tend to clash a bit with the start of the next two lines, if you were to drop these two words the poem would read just as well.

    As I always say to people this is merely my suggestion and this is your poem.

    another cracker.

    You are going to do well on this site, I am adding you to my favs.

    • 12 years ago

      by LostWords

      Once more, thank you! After the years I realized they are the stupid ones.

      Thanks for your suggestion, I will work on that.

      Oh well thank you. For that, I will go read more of yours.

  • 12 years ago

    by LostWords

    I wrote this my senior year in high school. There were rumors about me going around the school that tortured my thoughts. I once had "friends" and the next moment I was always alone. While sitting by myself at the lunch table, with pointed fingers and whispers all around, I started to write. This was the product of my destruction.

  • 12 years ago

    by LostWords

    .

  • 12 years ago

    by Marvellous

    The Past, is hunter of Present. Within every failure, there's gain.

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