Comments : Targets for the thrill

  • 12 years ago

    by Aaron

    My suggestion is a better structure so e.g after 'alone' on the first line you start a new line. Other than that, I liked the poem and the messaged it conveyed.

  • 12 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    It is unbeknown how many have been hurt by stones thrown alone.
    I know a kid nicknamed bones because he weighs less than 11 stones,
    unarmed he has killed less than drones in war zones. I would inquire how many you admire have been killed by friendly fire?

    thank you
    I will edit when I figure out how

  • 12 years ago

    by Amy

    I like the internal rhymes in this poem and the message itself is very intriguing. Maybe you could use enjambment to fix the form? Other than that, I enjoyed reading this. It is well-thought out and the brevity works well.

  • 11 years ago

    by Adelle

    A good message but it doesn't really feel like a poem the rhyme seems forced and the poem not well formed I'm not saying its a bad poem but it needs a little work.