- As 'leaves' blow..
- "them words" is a slang, and it doesn't suite this type of melancholic poem, so I suggest to say instead: I remember when I first heard "he's gone", a feeling...
- paralysed --> paraly(z)ed
- flys --> flies

----- I hope you fix those errors... because this is such an amazing piece... Now I like you more Tony because you specialized your dad in this 9th of September with this piece. I feel that he's proud of you.

I love how you incorporated 'leaves' in there; it really matched the theme of farewell in September.

God bless you.
And may he Rest In Peace!

As leaves blow in the autumn wind,
a new star is born in the darkness
of a September night.

- love this opening my friend, the imagery is just beautiful and sad at the same time and I just couldnt wait to read on.

I remember when I first heard them words
"he's gone" a feeling I've never felt before
came over me -

- i do agree with LP on this one, them words loses the power in this verse, even changing it to "those words" would be better, or abed's suggestion would work too.

The feeling of nothing ,
the world just stopped spinning,

- I can so relate tot his feeling and you have summed up how I have felt many times when I have been giving devastating news of the loss of someone close to me.

I was paralysed ;only the thought running
through my head,
I'll never see his face again.

- this is such a deep though and unbarable to think of.

His soul flies by in the form of a shooting star,
sprinkling his legacy over the earth, letting us
know he's always,
watching over us.

- love the image of the shooting star, great dedication to someone special and to show their souls live on and watch over us.

This is a poem to my dad who passed away
a year ago today.

"always in my heart forever in my thoughts"

- sad but very well written poem, I adored the bond here and it flowed really nicely, very emotional piece.

Tony, I watched today V for Vendetta, and the first sentence in the move was: Remember Remember the 5th of November...

I instantly remembered your poem!! :)

Oh, this touched me. My mother passed away and when I got the news... I was paralyzed. I couldn't even cry at the moment, which was odd... I felt the emotions of sadness and heartache and wanted nothing more but to beat my head against the wall and scream for her to come back... but I had nothing... I sat there paralyzed with my Dad hugging me while he was crying. I couldn't show emotions until I was by myself. But anyway...

this is well written and it truly will touch anyone who has lost a loved one. I'm sure your father is looking down on you with a smile upon his face, very proud of you. I really love the last stanza. great job!

Oh gosh ........first of all iam so sorry
...it's so emotional very sad loved that piece
keep up 5/5