Comments : Amreen (Haikus)

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    Aww.. this is a sweet dedication to Amreen.

    She is a sweet girl and you described her well here. Thank you for the note.

    I counted as usual, and yup, it's 3-5-3.
    well done.

  • 12 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    I often find it very difficult to do friendship poems, but you've done a great job here! I only have one suggestion.

    "Hope I'll be
    as much kindhearted
    as Amreen"

    `I'm thinking the second line doesn't quite roll off the tongue as well as it could. Perhaps something like..

    "Hope I'll be
    just as kindhearted <--- still 5 syllables. :)
    as Amreen"

    Hope this helps!

    5/5

    `Briana