Saffie, this poem touches me like you wouldn't believe. I have an alcholic father, who I love and adore, but he has also hurt me deeply by choosing the booze instead of his family....also, my ex boyfriend, I left him because drinking became more important than me. . Its so hurtful and sad and sickening that poison can mean more than a human soul.

I love writes that are written out of frustration. This was great saffie, poems like these can't be critiqued because you can't critique peoples feelings.

This poem reads like a romance with an alcoholic that turned bad. He lied to you and is consumed by the bottle. He crossed the line and there is no way back.

You can leave him now and start fresh.

WOW! I can feel all the anger, disappointment, the hurt, and resentment. It's as if you took the exact thoughts out of your mind and wrote them here. This is an exceptional poem, as I can almost see the entire poem happening in front of my eyes, thanks to the way you've described your thoughts and emotions here.

A few little things you could to do improve the poem are fix the typos. I found quite a few of them and those are the only things that I feel could improve this poem..

My ears cannot believe the sound
of your vicous lies
pouring from you alcohol covered lips.

You've misspelled vicious here and forgot to add the "r" at the end of you, making your.. Perhaps the anger was getting the best of you? hehe

So go and seek your bottle
and consume the poisin inside
as it drowns what is left of your soul.

You've also spelled poison wrong here, an easy fix that will improve the poem.

Besides those typos this poem is amazing, I love the expression in it and sadly it is about the negativity of an alcoholic.. but you've expressed yourself in a beautiful way here and for that I salute you. Great job.

This poem really slaps the reader in the face and wake them up. The anger in this piece is just chilling. You painted such a picture with your words that this piece couldn't help but melt the hardest of hearts.

If this is something you are going through I can tottally see why you had to vent and I hoped it helped. I just wish there was some advice I could give but you seem savy so I think you know what you must do in order to survive this situaution.

If on the other hand this poem was made up you did an excellent job getting the reader to believe the poem was real. You can see 100% went into this.

The poem is amazing and faultless

5/5

First of all, I love the title. You can tell just by reading this it was going to have strong emotions. I love lightning, it's amazing... I always love the use of lightning in poetry.

This poem is just completely full of anger and hate for that person you once had love for. They betrayed you, choosing alcohol over you. I will never understand why one would do that... I understand it's an addiction... but all they need is the willpower to change, to get help.... it can be done, many people overcome the struggle. Others just don't even try... they give up too easily and actually love the addiction... I don't understand it.... why they would want to hurt their loved ones so much.

I can certainly feel the anger in your words as I read this poem. The pure feelings and emotions can easily be felt. I love the rawness of this piece. The strength it would have taken to write this poem I can see that you have. I think it is something you needed to write, for a healing process. Awesome, awesome awesome!

x

Very good poem. The emotion is excellent.

I liked your poem, but the '!'s at the opening made it a bit confusing. You know, regarding the flow.

'My anger is disappointed
when I return back to my body
and let go of that thought.'

Beautiful.