Comments : How you do it

  • 12 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    Great piece. I liked the flow so much. I have some critiques:
    'You could've ripped it in half.' sounds better if it reads You could've ripped it into halves.'

    'A guy with permanent tears painted on my face' sounds better if it reads 'A guy with permanent tears painted on his face'.

    It is really a nice piece. Keep penning.

    • 12 years ago

      by Eddie Hoyte

      Thanks a lot for lettin me know...It helped a lot