Twelve O'clock.

My first thoughts would be Cinderella, lol... But in here, you went afar, as I ASSUME, to dark sides: vampires, probably?

The setting you opened your poem with is darkened so much, especially with the use of 'black birds'. I wondered why you didn't use ravens, but still, that was well-thought of. I also like the verb 'croon' attached to 'ricocheting', for this highlights the creepy atmosphere by stirring the sounds of 'C's.

The description, 'feathery trees' is so creative because in my opinion, the 'feathery' part is a complement for those black birds. Lovely.

In the 2nd stanza, you have captured the essence of fear. Oh God. That sounded so spooky, and what the narrator felt just popped out on my screen. I'm truly fond of the details you added here and there, and what you said 'trace of a cold finger. Fear' hit home for me.

I can almost see some flashes of dark creatures passing between those feathery trees, and that lady/girl is stranded there, feeling their presence, her knees trembling... scary!

In the final stanza, we get to know who this creature is. My assumption says ZORO, or a VAMPIRE, maybe because of the black cloak he's wearing?

her last breath decays on his
mouth.

^ I think this is my favorite line. In essence, it's so romantic, yet it is masked with fear/darkness. And that was a lovely touch, a beautiful ending.

I'm really left pondering; who's this creature? Am I right? Zoro? A Vampire like those in twilight?

I'm glad you posted something new, Myryn. You're awesome!! :)

5/5 and I'm goin to give an in depth comment as soon as I'm home
God bless you sis

First of all, I need to stress on how every time I read a piece by you, I pick up a new vocabulary or two, I always have my Translator ready!-!

the first new santanza's here are just very accurate descriptive sentences,
You managed to paint a picture in my head, An accurate one and to be able to transcend your message so vividly though a pen is over powered.

I <3 how the poem then takes a new prescriptive, for you've integrated the factor of fear so very cleverly , I had goosebumps,

and the black bird automatically registered as a raven in my head,

the last two santanza's is where you correlated the dots and removed any suspesion in the reader's mind.

overall such a beautiful verse, Accurately describing the events that take place in a jungle full of predators
Survivle of the fittest.

I truly how you happen to take a normal event that happens almost every minute of every hour of everyday and, successfully managed to coat it with darkness and anticipation for us the readers.

for you're truly one of a kind
5/5? never the less
you are awesome my sis

Myryn I didn't really see you in this poem. I don't know, you'd write passionate poems, I guess I forgot that people like to write about darkness only for a change of light.

"ricocheting
through the deep
feathery trees."
^
I love your using the word ricochet here, thanks for teaching me something new hehe. And how on earth did you come up with feathers and trees together? It kind of made me think of birds and trees as one being. You know, there is a bird named Potoo, he hides in the trees and looks as if the tree and the bird are one thing. You reminded me of that :)

"As she glides by the margin "
Margin of a still stream? Girl you're using many unfamiliar metaphors to me, easy easy! :)

I love your enjambment, I had to read some parts again to understand what you meant by that and how you broke the lines this way. Brilliant My :)

Shine on~

Dont tell me you are not the Queen of darkness :) I shall return!

This was wonderful really pure , I seriously think you should do a second part as in still left in wonder

Amazing 5/5

This is so amazing! There are so many images I loved! The owlish eyes, cloak as dark as midnight, her last breath decays on his mouth. Totally in awe, beautiful writing. So eerie & makes your skin crawl with anticipation and fear all at the same time. You've wrote a gem here, you should be so proud :)

By far, one of the best dark pieces I've read to date! This poem had me from the start, visualizing a lady in dark clothing, granting me a gothic feeling.. I felt like this was a dark romance almost, very haunting, with the deep nature tones of the night, very breathtaking. It made me feel like the author was talking about deathly spirits, returning to their grave as one. I also felt a dark passion in sense. I love the display of "Owlish eyes" and the ending is mouth dropping... (no - pun intended ha ha) It was just a really awesome way of ending this powerful poem. I may be way off base with my interpretation of this poem, but that is just the feeling I got, and I truly admire this poem!