Bettering Myself

by Dawn   Sep 15, 2012


Love has yet again escaped your breath tonight. It's
become embedded in our accident of a
routine and I despise every moment longing
for your creeping words of alternatively soft
poetry tapping along my conscious; forlorn.

How can they speak as harshly as you, and to you?

Endlessly, it confuses me dear. Just simply
amazing how the pain ebbs away when I start
to listen that tiny bit closer to the small
intakes of breath you suck in, seeping into your
prized possession, other than my curves of course, that
strangely delicate mouth of a poet turned wrong.

"They say the competition is thick again..." True.
yet you are wrong, and a small grin makes its way to
my complexion, and pride swells in my sweetened chest.
I noticed you slipped, finally, I'm paying some
kind of attention, trying my best not to make
the same mistakes yet again, the tragedy no
longer enclosing into my mind; I am safe.

When did those crisp curses become my protectors?

( Tried again. 12 syllables. I wouldn't count on it though. It's sort of a part two to my other one. )

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    I particularly love the first line. It was strong and a great opening. I actually found it more delicate than harsh, you used words such as love, tonight and breath (all visually appealing) but it was a sad line. The use of the body throughout the poem was something that caught my interest, it's a prominent feature in my work and you used it beautifully.

    I'm always fond when someone uses the word poetry, in poetry. The way you described the type of poetry "alternatively soft poetry" was lovely.

    I counted 12 syllables in each line, great job!

    "When did those crisp curses become my protector?"

    ^I like this line but something doesn't sound right to me. I feel as though it should "When did those crisp curses become my protectors" or "When did that crisp curse become my protector".

    Enjoyable read!
    Mel

  • 12 years ago

    by Britt

    Daaang, you are killin it! I will write a better comment when I'm at a computer, am on my phone now and itll take ages :)

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