Immortal catastrophe (completed)

I drink the blood of an immortal catastrophe.
^^
I don't think this line needs to end with a fullstop, perhaps consider a semicolon (;) or a comma (,) ?

This sweet taste out lines my delicate lips.
^^
'out lines' should only be one word 'outlines'
Also perhaps try 'the' instead of 'this' at the beginning - as in THE BLOOD instead of THIS BLOOD -- not necessary, but something to consider.
Such power obtained in one tiny sip out
Of this holy grail. I see through the eyes of the
^^
Great imagery here.
Weak and laugh at their stupidity. Their
false
Smiles and inspired laughs. How long will
They wait, for happiness to flow through
Their putrid bodies? They're moral values
Make these vivid eyes glow with mockery.
^^
I love these lines. Such potent words.

as the blood through these veins grow thinner
^^
Should 'grow' be 'grows' here?
With each waking moment, this beauty enhances
To surpass even the most elegant trespassers.
My black and white vision all these years has been
coloured in by the angels hand, such spectacular
Vision. To some life is ending, but to me,
Life is just beginning
^^
Brilliant ending. I especially love the part about the angels colouring in your vision - beautiful.
_______________________________
OVERALL;
Again watch your capitalisation, but also your punctuation. In some cases the fullstop should be replaced with pause instead.
But I truly enjoyed this piece. 5/5

Very deep indeed. You have strong messages behind your pieces. Its sad but so beautiful that with such traits a crave for hope radiates within. Its always good to keep a relentless spirit. Life is always on point and out of point, trying your faith and patience, through family, school, friends, relationships, everything in reality. Every action comes with its good tidings and at times, bad moments. Its despairing but with a tint of inspiration clamouring at the last lines, you've penned your thoughts well. You have a 'shooting star talent'. Its blossoming. Someday, it'll be ripe, hence, plucked. Brilliant message. Blessings.. :-)

Very nice piece.