The title is really what caught my eye here. Though, I do believe that this poem could go under sadness or the life categories, where it would seen by more readers than it would be here.

The style was nice, though the flow seemed a bit rough. It could just be me, in which case sorry, but I say reread it out loud that's the best way to see if you agree. The words could have been a lot stronger or more emotion filled because they were lacking both aspects in this piece. Your voice was not as loud here as I believe it should have been, but that is a technique it seems very few have mastered thus far.

It seems like the point of this piece was just to let things go, but it really is missing something. Flavor, uniqueness, technique? I don't know but it really has nothing that makes it stand out in my mind. I mean I'm this far in a comment about a piece I read literally a minute ago and I can't remember a single line anymore.

I don't mean to sound harsh at all, because I know that the piece had a nice idea and a raw plan, maybe try rewriting it in a few weeks and see where it takes you? You may like the new out come.

The idea is good but the execution lacks a little flow.

You know what you want to say but it's not coming out completely.

Like Butterfly says you should revise in a couple days.

Thanx guys i have pointed it out n will sit nd put it in a well pace,